


Bread, instant food and milk.

by Shhhhhhhhhh



Category: Monsta X (Band)
Genre: Angst, Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Angst with a Happy Ending, Anxiety Attacks, Bad Parenting, Caring Yoo Kihyun, Consensual Underage Sex, Dirty Thoughts, Dom Yoo Kihyun, Even more dirty thoughts, Implied/Referenced Self-Harm, It's not really sex, Kihyun doesn't know Changkyun is underage, Kihyun loves sex, Kihyun stops once he knows, M/M, Mental Breakdown, Sad Lim Changkyun | I.M, Underage blowjob and handjob, blood and bruises, changki rise, innocent Changkyun, mentions of abusive parents, touching and kissing
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-07-13
Updated: 2018-07-29
Packaged: 2019-06-09 20:17:32
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Underage
Chapters: 2
Words: 7,979
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15275382
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Shhhhhhhhhh/pseuds/Shhhhhhhhhh
Summary: “I want to do it, I still want to do it, please”. The younger begs.“Changkyun”, Kihyun tries to make his voice as sweet as it can be. “I’m 32”.“So what?”, the younger snaps, voice getting louder. “I want to”.“Changkyun, you need to calm down”.“No”, he shouts. “No, I need you to fuck me”.“Changkyun...”.





	1. His cute Changkyun.

**Author's Note:**

> Hello,
> 
> This is my first time writing a fanfic, English is not my first language and I'm very afraid there are things I'm not tagging correctly or that I'm missing out, I deeply apologize.
> 
> I don't want anyone to regret having read this so, this story is very hard to tag, the description doesn't say much about the plot and I really hate spoilers. Read at one's own risks, it's not that bad... I guess. Everything is veryyyyyy consensual, I swear. 
> 
> Thank you and I hope someone enjoys this :)

Kihyun swears there is nothing better than a good party. 

A good, free party. 

A good, free, full of hot people party.

The purple haired wonders if he will ever get tired of doing the exact same shit he has been doing ever since coming out of age. He knows his 18 years old self wouldn’t be so proud of this, of this kind of behavior and attitude despite already being 32, but he doesn’t care. What he truly cares about is alcohol, cigarettes and his personal favorite: sex. 

Everyone wants him in their party, a party is not a cool one if he is not in there, everyone knows it and party hosts are so damn lucky he never turns down an invitation. Free alcohol, uncountable cigarettes and a round or two of amazing sex with the first person that winks at his direction was cool when he was 18, was still cool when he turned 25, is cool right now that he is 32 and will remain the absolute coolest thing to do for the whole of his life.

Have it been another person and he would possibly be worried about the future, but Kihyun is not. 

Screw the future, live the present. Figures he would have to feel embarrassed or pride humbled that he is more than thirty and has never had a job, has never being a good student, has quitted university and has only ever attended it because of the hot girls and attractive boys willing to let them be fucked by him in the campus’ toilets, but the truth is that Kihyun was born with a silver spoon in his mouth and he knows it, admits it and loves it.

He is meant to inherit the successful jewelry company his father founded, once he grows too old or too tired of it, it will eventually be in his only son’s hands. One day he will be working in there, no, not working. One day, he will be leading the workers in there, firing the ones that fuck up and hiring some new ones to replace them and continuing to love alcohol, smoke and sex in between.

He is currently driving the overly expensive new car his mother bought him not long ago, on his way to his own palace looking house, dressed in his favorite’s brand newest released clothes his father bought him earlier this week. He could use a cigarette right now. He needs a cigarette right now. One of his hands leave the steering wheel to tap on his trousers, his pockets, searching for what he needs without success. Fuck, he really needs a cigarette. 

Without thinking about it, his eyes immediately start searching for a open 24h shop, whatever that is open this early in the morning and that seems like they would sell what he desperately wants. 

He, urgently, needs a cigarette.

Kihyun double parks his car and gets inside what looks like a convenience store. He expected to ask the cashier for the cigarettes as soon as he stepped in the shop but said cashier seems to be occupied with another client, he is about to raise his voice and claim for a cigarette packet when he notices what is happening.

“I saw it. Open the damn bag”. 

“Why should I?”

This is definitely better than smoking, Kihyun doesn’t know for sure and at the same time he definitely knows, he is convinced the young man with the bag hanging from his shoulder just took some items from the store and was going to scape without paying for them.

“I was looking at the monitor, I saw it. Pay for what you took or leave it and nothing will happen”. The cashier seems agitated but tranquil, meanwhile the supposed thief looks nervous but determined.

“Are you accusing me of stealing?”. The boy sure looks nervous and determined but he also does look hot as fuck. He is rather short, around his own height but really thin, his legs surprisingly long, the bigger-than-it-should-be hoodie looking perfect on him, his attractive face is evident, the small eyes and lips paired with that perfect nose, he, he wants to feel his black hair between his fingers. He wants him.

“Enough”. The cashier grows tired of the male and, without hesitation, reaches for his bag. Said male reacts by grabbing it tighter, unwilling to let it go and as a result, the cashier starts to go physical with him, grabbing his shoulder with apparent force and hurting the boy that’s struggling and screaming to the other to stop touching him.

“Stop”. Kihyun intervenes, making both of them turn their heads in his direction. By the look in their faces, it seems like they had no idea he has witnessed the whole thing. “I will pay for it”.

Both the young man and the cashier put similar confused expressions. “Whatever it is, I will pay for it”. He reaches for the bag the boy is still holding and he surprisingly lets go of it easily. Kihyun looks at what is inside and sees no more than three or four products. He takes a step to the counter and pours the bag contents in there, revealing some bread, instant food and a small carton of milk. “I would want to buy this”, Kihyun calmly says towards the cashier, that carefully returns to his place behind the counter while sending a hateful glare towards the boy whose hand is still in the shoulder where the other man hurt him earlier. “Ah... and a packet of cigarettes”, Kihyun adds. 

 

 

“Isn’t it a bit too early to be stealing?”, Kihyun asks as soon as they leave the store. His car is parked there, in front of the convenience store and he can’t help but smirk when the younger eyes the car for a solid 5 seconds, a reaction everyone naturally has, it is a car you have to look at twice.

“Isn’t it a bit too early to be drunk?”. Oh yeah. It is morning, a morning after an all night party, to be precise. He is sure he stinks of alcohol, that’s why he was driving to his house, to take a shower and rest, but now his goal has changed. Despite his car being parked right there, he is following the other male. He made sure he was the one to grab the bag with the groceries he bought for the other, this way he couldn't possibly scape with them, he has to wait until he hands them down to him. Everything is planned, Kihyun is the best at this.

“I am positive I wouldn’t have done this if I was sober”, Kihyun admits. “You actually have to thank the fact that I’m drunk”.

“You didn’t have to do it”.

“But I did it”. Kihyun says as he opens the bag slightly and takes another look at the products. “You know, I spected thiefs to steal really expensive stuff”, he shakes the plastic bag a little. “This was all pretty cheap”.

The younger, that has being looking at the floor the whole time, finally makes eye contact with him. “That’s because I’m not a thief”. Kihyun hasn’t mistook the other’s attractiveness. Now, by looking fully at the other’s face he can confirm it, he is such a beauty.

The black haired stops walking, starts searching for his keys in his bag, and Kihyun supposes the building that is right in front of them is where he lives. Barely two minutes away from the convenience store he attempted to steal in earlier. The building looks old fashioned, dirty but just like literally any other building in the area.

“Here”, Kihyun offers the bag to him. But the younger quickly declines.

“No, keep it”, he says without looking at the other’s face, busy, trying to open the front door.

Kihyun has to laugh a little. “I don’t eat this kind of stuff”, he takes the other’s hand and slightly forces him to hold the bag. “Don’t be stubborn and take it, I bought them for you”.

“Th-thanks”, Kihyun can feel the hesitation in the other, he can sense that all the younger wants is to go back to his house and forget all of this has ever happened.

“What’s your name?”

“Sorry?”, the younger has already succeed in opening the door and is now stopping it from closing with his foot.

“Can I know your name?”, Kihyun tries again.

The black haired thinks about it for a second before answering. “Changkyun”.

Kihyun smiles, ready to do his thing, ready to win him. “I’m Kihyun. It was really nice meeting you”, he can see what seems to be like an almost smile in the other’s lips. It’s an improvement. “Would you want to meet me again, today at… I don’t know. How does eight sound?”

The younger’s eyes go wide after hearing that, mouth slightly agape. Kihyun loves when this happens. This probably means the other hasn’t been asked this type of question many times, maybe even never before, this… this means innocence, this means dominance, this means he is going to be all his. Kihyun absolutely loves this. 

“Wh-what?” 

“Do you remember the car?”, the black haired looks even more confused. “The car that was parked in front of the store”, the other’s expression softens in understandment. “I will park it here, at eight. And I will take you to dinner. Do you like the idea?”

The black haired looks at him, then at his feet, then at the door and then at him again. Cute. Very very cute. Such simple actions makes him think of all he wants to do to the other, how many times the puppy looking man is going to scream his name tonight.

“I- ok. It sounds good, ok”. Kihyun knew it, it always works.

“Great”, he smiles. “See you later then, Changkyun”.

 

 

 

Kihyun fools himself into thinking there is a possibility Changkyun won't turn up, but he knows very well the chances the other doesn’t appear in couple of minutes right there, in front of his car, are near nonexistent.

Kihyun planned it all, he will take the other to his house, they will order something to eat, maybe they would even forget what dinner is and go directly into action. He is very eager for Changkyun to be his. He has always liked this type of person the most when it comes to sex. But it is, sadly, very difficult to find in parties and in general. A person that is clueless, a level of innocence that is extremely hot. A person that doesn’t know, but is willing to know, willing to be taught and ready to take it all, someone that will do everything he asks for and even more than that. Someone that will be ok letting him do anything that he wants to with him. 

Shortly after it turns eight, the door of the building opens to reveal Changkyun. He looks different, the hoodie being replaced by a cream colored shirt and as he gets closer to the car, Kihyun notices the subtle eye makeup the younger wears and it makes him smile. He looks neat, cute, perfect.

Kihyun signals the other to take the passenger seat next to him. Changkyun opens the door, seats down and looks at him in awe. “Wow, you- you weren’t lying about the car”.

Kihyun chuckles loudly. Cute, cute, very cute. “Why would have I lied about that?”. The younger shrugs. He can feel Changkyun checking him out, just like he did with him a moment ago, but less subtle. The younger also has the right to be impressed with his change from sleep deprived and drunk to well rested and clean. The only thing that didn’t change being the price of the clothes he is wearing.

“You did come”, Kihyun says, interrupting Changkyun’s staring session. “I could be a murderer, you know”.

“I would be very glad if you murdered me, actually”. Kihyun chuckles again, is not the answer he expected but he guesses by it that that man is one of his, he lives life thinking of the present, not minding if he dies the next minute. He still can’t believe he founded a person like Changkyun.

“So, I was thinking about going to my house and ordering in. Is it ok with you?”.

“Everything is ok with me”.

Kihyun smiles, “great”.

 

 

 

They have being talking for the whole ride, neither of them being very talkative but the conversation flowing smoothly enough, to a comfortable point in which it is not necessary to turn the radio on for it to not be too awkward. 

When there is a red stop light, he feels Changkyun’s hand reaching for the collar of his shirt. At some point of the car ride it must have got wrinkled. Kihyun lets a soft laugh as the black haired works on his collar, already thinking what could he do to the younger in exchange. When his eyes meet the other’s shirt, he decides it is too buttoned up, so he looses the one at the very top. It was supposed to be a sexy act, but the slightly opened shirt partly shows a chest full of red and purple bruises. “Shit”, Kihyun curses out loud. Changkyun becomes self conscious and quickly starts to button it up again. “Tha- that asshole”, Kihyun shouts, suddenly very angry. “He really hurt you. Fuck he-, he did all that just because of bread and milk, I can’t fucking believe it”.

The light turned back to green. “Does it hurt?”, Kihyun asks, concerned as the car starts to move again.

“N-no. It doesn’t hurt”.

Changkyun doesn’t deserve this, any of this. How can someone do this to his perfectly pale skin. No one that is not himself leaving love marks all over his body and handprints in his perfectly rounded butt from spanking him so hard can leave any mark on this boy. 

“I’m going to take care of you tonight”. He looks at Changkyun in the eyes. “Ok?”

“Ok”. Changkyun softly nods.

 

 

 

The long ride home is finally over, he gets ready to leave the car but the black haired stays still. “Changkyun?”.

“Is this-“, Changkyun stutters. “All of this, is- is this your house?”.

“It goes well with my car, doesn’t it?”, Kihyun smirks and hurries the younger up. It is very cute to watch as the other’s eyes go bigger with each top quality car they pass by in the garage. He was taking too long, the house seemed unreachable because Changkyun was walking too slowly, trying to take in every single detail so Kihyun decides to hold the other’s hand. “Let’s go”, he lets a soft laugh, “This is only the garage”.

Once they make it inside, Kihyun kindly orders the younger to wait for him in the couch. All the purple haired wants to do is to check himself in the mirror for a bit, and mostly, to let Changkyun scan everything that’s around him. He seems like he likes to do so, like he is very observant.

When Kihyun returns a couple of minutes later, it was to an obedient Changkyun, shyly sitting on the big couch that makes him look even smaller than he already is, looking like a good boy. Kihyun can’t help it, they haven’t done anything too out of the ordinary but he is already very turned on, Changkyun truly drives him crazy.

He surprises the black haired by seating really close to him, he stares right at his eyes and leans on him more, and more. Until their lips touch. And Changkyun lets it happen.

The older has being a bit scared of the other not wanting anything sexual to happen, after all he hasn’t being explicit the main reason they are meeting is because Kihyun wants to fuck him really bad.

Changkyun let it happen but he didn't fight for dominance, as their tongues began to work, Kihyun naturally took the main role. After some time, they slowly separated. Kihyun, glad to see the pleasure on the other’s face, despite also looking exhausted and short on breath. He definetly had hit the jackpot with Changkyun, he knew he wasn’t wrong about the boy.

As the other seemed to have enjoyed it, the older decides to go a little rougher this time, slowly placing his legs between Changkyun's in order to sit in the younger's lap, he is a bit taken aback but again, he lets it happen.  
Another person would have placed Changkyun into his lap, but not Kihyun. He wants to show the other who has the dominance all the time. And by all the time he means all the time. He likes to always be on top, to make the first move. And so far, the black haired has been having perfect answers to his actions.

They kiss again, a bit rougher this time, he adds some touches and Changkyun moans for the first time. A beautiful, perfect sound Kihyun inmediately decides he wants to hear all night long. When the older gets tired of just kissing and touching, he stars rubbing himself against Changkyun.  
This time the moans that leaves the later’s mouth are even hotter, even louder. Kihyun continues, every time a little rougher, every time the sounds scaping the younger’s mouth more unintelligible. It becomes too much for Changkyun, that he unconsciously lets his head roll back.

It makes Kihyun stop abruptly. “No”. The other looks at him, confused. “I want you to look at me all the time, yeah?”. Changkyun obediently nods.

 

 

 

Next thing Kihyun decides to try out is softly massaging the younger’s crotch. This time the moans come more breathy, and the fact that Chankyun didn’t forget about looking at the other all the time, even when struggling to do so, was so soooo hot. Kihyun can’t wait to fuck him. He honestly kind of likes the pace this is going, even though if he were having sex with another person, they would have had their first orgasm long ago. But this is what Changkyun deserves, now confirmed to not be so experienced in the subject. However, it is needless to say he would also like to roughly fuck the boy while he still keeps the promise to look at him all the time.

Kihyun reaches for the other’s shirt. He wants to take it off so badly, he wants to see Changkyun fully naked and vulnerable, but the other unexpectedly stops his hands. The older is taken aback, the obedient boy wouldn’t do this if it was nothing. Did he fuck up? Was it too much for him? Did he scare him?

“It’s- It’s not a good idea”. Changkyun’s voice sounding even more lower pitched than it naturally is.

“I’m sorry baby”, Kihyun apologizes. “I just wanted to… to try it out. I thought you would be ok with it, I’m sorry”. 

Changkyun stops looking at him for the first time since he had being scolded about it. “No, no that’s not it. I- I want to try it out too”.

“Then?”, Kihyun carefully asks, “What’s wrong?”.

“Would”, the younger starts but looks like he doesn’t quite know how to put his thoughts into words. “Would you mind if my body is a bit bruised?”, Kihyun can feel the other slightly shaking behind him. “Would you be… disgusted by it?”.

The older furrows his eyebrows. “What do you mean?”. He truly doesn’t know what to think, he definetly wouldn't be disgusted by it but, it’s still so abrupt. Why would his body be bruised? 

“Like”, Changkyun stars again, “Like what you saw in the car. My chest. That, but in my whole body”. The younger’s shaking is more evident every second that passes. Kihyun still wants to know why. Why would he be bruised all over his body? He is definitely not disgusted by bruises, but still, why.

“No, baby. I’m not disgusted”, he smiles, petting the other’s hair and the shaking slightly lowers its intensity. “Can I take your shirt off? I promise I’m completely ok with them”.

“Ok”, after a short moment Changkyun agrees, meeting his eyes again. Kihyun starts to open the shirt, button by button, revealing more and more bruises of different intensity, colors and shapes. When the shirt is completely taken off, the older looks at the other’s body trying to take everything that’s in there. Just like Changkyun did when he first entered the house, Kihyun eyes goes wider with every bruise. When he notices the multiple cuts in the other’s wrist his eyes stay there for longer than he intends to. He comes back to his senses when he feels the other violently shaking, tears about to go down his cheeks. 

“I- I know it’s not beautiful”, Changkyun’s voice breaks.

“It is beautiful”, the one on top reassures. “I’m shocked by the beauty of it”. He carefully hugs the boy under him, petting his hair, and when he seems like he has calmed down a bit, he talks again. “Can I know what is all of this?”

“Bruises”, the younger’s voice is filled with tiredness and he very obviously doesn’t want to explain anything about it, but Kihyun is not getting that, things have to go Kihyun’s way, all the time.

“I know that”, he continues to pet the other’s hair softly. “But how", Kihyun sweetly asks, "and who”.

“Myself”, at this point Changkyun sounds like he is going to fall asleep any second, so the older decides to stop the petting.

“Yourself?”

“And my father”.

“You did the ones in your wrists, right?” Kihyun can feel the other’s soft nodding. “And- and your father did the rest?”, the younger nods again. “But- why?”

“I- I don’t know”, there are tears threatening to fall down the boy’s face once again.

“Do you live with him?”

“Yes”.

“Just the both of you?”

“And my mother”.

Kihyun nods in understandment. 

Not only for the whole night, but for the whole day as well, Changkyun has looked as a grown out. Kihyun hasn’t even thought about the possibility the other could still be a kid. He was almost sure the other was younger than him, but… Everything, from his eye circles to the fact he was about to rob the convenience store, to the matureness he radiates, the way he behaves and even how willing he is to have sex. Everything screamed 'adult', but right now Changkyun looks like a kid, like a vulnerable kid.

“Changkyun”, Kihyun carefully asks, “How old are you?”.

He doesn’t respond immediately and the older fears the other might have fell asleep. “I’m 17”.

Kihyun nods, and smiles. “Ok”. He starts to get off of Changkyun.

“No”. The younger's voice breaks again. “No, please no”.

“I’m not going anywhere”, he sits down in his original seat, next to Changkyun and takes his hand. “I’m still here, ok?”

“I want to do it. I still want to do it, please”. The younger begs.

“Changkyun”, Kihyun tries to make his voice as sweet as it can be. “I’m 32”.

“So what?”, the younger snaps, voice getting louder. “I want to”.

“Changkyun, you need to calm down”.

“No”, he shouts. “No, I need you to fuck me”.

“Changkyun...”.

“Please”, there are tears all over his face, eyes red, face pale. “I will let you do it, I want it, even if it hurts. I like it when it hurts, please”. The younger doesn’t know what he is saying anymore, he is ranting, hyperventilating and Kihyun can’t remember a time when he has felt as afraid as he is now. He certainly doesn’t know what to do. “Please, do whatever with me. Just- just don’t bring me back there”. At this point, Changkyun is sobbing and his difficulty to breath properly seems greater each second. “Please, I can do. Anything. Don’t take me. Home”.

Kihyun doesn’t have a clue what to do, he is just watching, he knows it is not the right thing to do, but, what the fuck is the right thing to do? Changkyun keeps talking but it’s incomprehensible, his breathing is very irregular and harsh, and he still doesn’t know what to do. He wants to cry.

He watches as Changkyun approaches his right wrist with his left hand and sticks his nails into his skin, causing a couple of the scars to re-open and start bleeding. Kihyun is fast to reach for his hands and keep them away from him.

“Changkyun”, he tries to make his voice sweet and gentle, he honestly sounds like he is terrified to him, but he hopes it is reassuring enough for the other. “Listen to me, you need to breath ok?”, he puts the hand that is not bleeding in his own chest. “C’mon, we can continue once you calm down, yeah?”. Kihyun exaggerates his breathing pattern. “Baby, focus on my breathing”.

 

 

 

After the worst 15 minutes of his life, Changkyun’s breathing seems to even out, everything looks back to normal, excluding his shirt full of tears and blood and the passed out Changkyun laying in his sofa.

After an undetermined amount of time, Kihyun gets up, legs shaking, still in shock. He goes to the bathroom, looks at his reflection in the mirror cursing under his breath. He looks horrible, tears remains in his cheeks, snot under his nose and overall, tired, very tired. He splashes some water in his face and grabs the first aid kit. He goes to Changkyun and does everything he can to his right wrist.  
He takes a look at the other. Now that he knows his age, he can’t unseen it, how could he have been so stupid. He… he has almost had sex with a minor. As much as Kihyun loves sex that’s just- that’s just fucked up. 

Changkyun looks like a kid, worse, Changkyun is a kid. 

He places a blanket to cover his partly naked body, but again, he can’t unseen the bruises and scars. Changkyun doesn’t deserve any of this, and Kihyun… Kihyun doesn’t know what to do about it.

 

 

 

When it’s morning and Changkyun wakes up, he offers him a breakfast he has, obviously, not cooked himself and lets him take a shower. When his tummy is full and his body is clean, Kihyun announces he will take him home, and the younger just nods.

Once they are both in the car and on the way to Changkyun’s house, Kihyun apologizes. “I'm so sorry”, he sighs. “I acted so stupidly last night, I’m- I’m so embarrassed. I almost did something very fucked up to you and I’m just… I’m so sorry it happened”.

“I enjoyed it. I know you won’t believe me, but I truly did. I liked it, you were very gentle, I felt loved and-“, he starts looking at the view the car’s window displays. “And I wanted more. And I wish you weren’t dropping me off like this, but I understand”.

Kihyun shakes his head. “I’m not dropping you off, I’m-“, he struggles to find the right words. “Your parents must be worried”.

Changkyun laughs, the older notices it is the first time he has heard the other’s laugh and he doesn’t like one bit that the only time he has done so is right now and under this circumstances. “I live on one meal a day, sometimes not even that. I am beaten the shit out of me by my own father every night. Do you still think they care?”

Kihyun’s blood turns cold. “I’m s- sorry to hear that, but, you- you still belong there. I'm truly sorry”.

“It’s ok, I understand”.

After that, hey fall silent and next time Kihyun checks on the other, Changkyun has fell asleep. 

Before Kihyun knows it, they have already reached their destination and he honestly doesn’t want to wake the other up, he doesn't want to let the boy set a foot in the house he is being abused at. He contemplates driving all the way back to his house, it is more than big enough for the both them, Changkyun would be so happy to hear he doesn't have to live in the hell he calls a home. But again, the kid is 17. He belongs to his parents, it doesn’t matter that they are the devil themselves.

Kihyun notices a smart phone pecking out of the kid’s pocket and he takes it, carefully. It’s a really old and small one and the screen is badly broken but he still manages to save his contact under the name of 'Kihyun'.

“Changkyun”, the older gently wakes the kid up. “We have arrived”.

Before he can leave the car, he makes the younger promise he will text him regularly, he makes him swear he is going to be safe and happy and he is going to tell him if he ever needs food or anything at all. He has made him believe cutting isn’t the solution to anything and that he should call the older if he senses a panic attack coming or if his father hits him too hard.

As soon as Changkyun is walking back home, Kihyun starts to tear up and he doesn’t stop crying even when he starts driving. He has to stop midway because he is sobbing too hard, the tears aren’t letting him see the road. 

Changkyun doesn’t deserve this, any of this.

 

 

 

Two days after the incident, they’d met again in a park near Changkyun's house. It had been Kihyun’s idea as he couldn’t keep thinking about the boy and just texting wasn’t enough for him. Four days after that meeting, they decided to see each other again. 

Last time, Changkyun had wore an almost broken t-shirt despite it still being too cold outside, so Kihyun decided to buy the younger some clothes. He also remembered about all the hoodies and jackets that aren’t trending anymore and he wasn’t planning on wearing ever again and gifted them all to the boy with the excuse of them not fitting him anymore.

Next time they’d met, Kihyun felt it made very little sense the younger was living on a cheap meal a day while dressing in Balenciaga clothes, so he felt the need to bring the boy some quality food. He starts giving Changkyun some money, weekly. The younger obviously declined the money at firsts, but Kihyun promised if he ate more than two meals a day and took the money he offered him, once he turns 18 in exactly 10 months, they could continue what they left undone. And as predictable as the black haired is, he loved the idea.

Every day they meet, Changkyun is a bit heavier, a bit healthier. Kihyun checks his bruises and wrists. In the days they look ok, he lets the younger give him a quick peck to his lips. When they look bad, he brings the kid to the hospital. 

Every day they meet, Kihyun is also happier. Sometimes, after they bid each other goodbye, he goes partying and other times he just goes back home, to eat dinner and sleep early. He still smokes his lungs away, drinks occasionally and makes love with some strangers, but it is slowly becoming a rare thing. 

He feels satisfied just by seeing the younger improve, he is the happiest when the kid smiles and he is more aware every passing day of how sad his life was before meeting Changkyun.

His cute Changkyun.


	2. Some things never change.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> He is disgusted of himself, of how wrong is it to make out with someone he doesn't know at all, how sad is it that he can't stop himself from going partying even though he no longer enjoys it and how fucked up is it to have enjoyed that night with Changkyun. 
> 
> To have enjoyed it more than any other shared night ever and not being able to stop fantasizing about it.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This was supposed to be a one shot, so take this as an extra chapter, I guess (?)
> 
> Thank you for all the support and nice comments the 1st chapter got. I didn't think anyone would ask for a second part, I'm so thankful T.T
> 
> English is still not my mother tongue and I definetly didn't learn how to tag properly. Sorry :(
> 
> Make sure to check the tags and enjoy your reading ^^

Some things never change.

Like the music genre that plays at every single party Kihyun attends. Repetitive, with barely any lyrics and stifling at times.

It is not like it matters. Kihyun is not here for the music anyways.

He has promised himself that he was going to stop with the 'recently turned 18' behavior. A promise that is so hard to fulfill when he keeps getting invited to every damn party.

Kihyun likes to think it is not his fault. Moreover, he has stopped going partying on the weekdays. That is considered an improvement, right? 

Having in mind that he had never turned down an invitation before, having lost the count of how many times he has recently said no to a night full of alcohol and pleasure is, indeed, an improvement. 

But still, some things never change. 

That's why when the tall, green haired man that had previously offered him the drink he has just finished approaches him, daintily touching his cheek with one single hand and getting closer in order to sweetly whisper in his ear, Kihyun can't help but smirk. 

This is what he is here for.

"Follow me". The green haired whispers. 

And even Kihyun thinks it is a little sad all it takes for him to agree on having sex with a man he has just met are two words.

It is also sad that when he follows the taller all the way to an isolated corner in the yard of the house the party is held, Kihyun thinks it is a brilliant idea to push the man he has just exchange two words with towards the wall, roughly kissing him.

The truth is that Kihyun has long ago lost his ability to focus on the taller, his green hair becoming black and their heights evening out all of a sudden. 

The man in front of him is suddenly a kid and Kihyun thinks it's sad he can't help it. He can't stop himself from imagining it is Changkyun he is kissing.

When the touching starts, Kihyun eagerly rubs his body against the other's, he remembers how much had Changkyun liked it when he had done this that night.

Kihyun is aware it is not the actual Changkyun the one that's between him and the wall, but when the sounds coming from the man's mouth start becoming scarily similar to Changkyun's, he remembers.

He remembers how loud, how breathy the moans became when he touched Changkyun's crotch, he needs to hear that again.

He feels a satisfying yet small smile form in his own face when he brings a hand to the crotch of the person in front of him, and he hears it. How perfect his Changkyunnie sounds. He is so happy, listening to the kid enjoying every single touch.

The rough movements under him makes him open his eyes and the fact that what welcomes him is the sight of a man free of bruises and cuts stripping from his shirt, makes him abruptly wake up from his day dreaming. 

"Wait", Kihyun struggles to say. 

The hair of the man that's currently working on his neck is green, he is notably taller than him and that's enough to make Kihyun panic. 

"How old are you?", he needs to know. 

The taller seems a bit taken aback from the sudden question, abruptly stopping in his tracks, the fact that he is so obviously drunk not helping at all. "26", he replies confused. 

Kihyun lets out a relieved sigh as he kindly pushes the man away, "Sorry". The man doesn't deserve to be left there without any explanation but Kihyun has to, urgently, go find a bathroom. 

He can hear the muffled voice of the green haired shouting something to him as he runs out of there, but he can't think of anything that's not how fucked up his mind is, how wrong is what has just happened. 

His feet and thoughts do not stop going full speed in his trip to the bathroom and when he finally finds it, he opens the door automatically getting to his knees and emptying his stomach in the toilet. 

He is disgusted of himself, of how wrong is it to make out with someone he doesn't know at all, how sad is it that he can't stop himself from going partying even though he no longer enjoys it and how fucked up is it to have enjoyed that night with Changkyun. To have enjoyed it more than any other shared night ever and not being able to stop fantasizing about it. 

Kihyun spits in the toilet one last time before flushing it, cursing the day he helped Changkyun out in the convenience store. It is also a thought sick people would have, but Kihyun sincerely wishes he had almost fucked a kid whose only problem in life would have been just that. 

What Kihyun regrets the most is having done it to an already broken boy. 

"kyunnie", Kihyun types in the chatting app, as he is walking his way to where his car is parked. "tomorrow the park next your house at 6???".

The purple haired gets in his car and before he can start the engine, his phone vibrates. "alright :)", Changkyun replies even though it is 3 in the morning. 

The man that used to exclusively think about the present, drives his way home thinking about what's to happen. 

 

 

"Oh my fucking God, Changkyun", the slightly taller exclaims out loud when they meet the next day at 6, in the park. "What the hell happened to you?".

The boy that has just arrived, dressed in one of the sweatshirts Kihyun bought him and with a horrible looking black eye, dares to laugh at the older. 

"Oh my fucking God, Changkyun", the kid imitates with a mocking tone. "What the hell hap-". 

"Changkyun". 

The boy rolls his eyes. "You already know what the hell happened".

The older smacks his lips, frowning. "Does it need to be checked by a doctor?".

"No".

"Are you sure?". 

"Yes", the black haired snaps, irritated. "Now, stop with the worrying tone, please".

Kihyun knew from the start that there was something off with the boy, and he is not just talking about the black eye. 

"Changkyun, let me see your wrists". 

The boy visibly tenses up as an answer, looking at the ground while shaking his head. 

Kihyun carefully grabs the sweetshirt that's too big on Changkyun, dragging him closer to himself like if he weighted nothing. Hugging him tight. Hugging him tighter when he notices the younger's damp cheeks and the slight shaking. 

"You know I have to check them", he can feel the younger's soft nodding against his shoulder. "And you know I am not going to think they are ugly", another nod. "Have I ever scolded you when I have founded new cuts? ", the younger makes a sniffing noise followed by a shake of head. "So, you are going to show me your wrists, yeah?". 

Changkyun slowly separates from the older, meeting his eyes and bringing his arms closer to Kihyun while shyly nooding.

The purple haired rathers quitting smoking, not bringing a single cup of alcohol to his lips ever again, even the thought of selling his favorite car is much more appealing that having to witness what's behind the sleeve. 

"Thank you", Kihyun says with a smile, and it's not a fake one. He is thankful the kid trusts him but he does not approve at all with what the boy does to his wrists. 

 

 

There are multiple new cuts, several of the old ones have been reopened. Some of them, that Kihyun guesses were the ones that were bleeding the most, are sloppily covered with some gauze. 

Kihyun can imagine it and as he does, his heart aches. 

He can imagine how scared and how much hate has his Changkyunnie had felt to having done all this. He can even imagine the panic expression the younger might have had when some of the cuts were bleeding too much, he can picture Changkyun running to were he had hidden the first aid kit the older bought him one day the kid had met him with a couple of new bloody cuts. 

"What happened?", Kihyun sadly whispers, patting the kid's hair.

Changkyun, that was avoiding looking at his own wrists by staring at the ground, looks at the older in the eyes. Kihyun honestly wishes he hasn't done so, the sight of the younger with that painful looking black eye was too much for him.

"He- he was very drunk", he stutters with a low voice, averting the older's eyes by lowering his owns, once again.

Kihyun smacks his lips for the second time in the day, the smile in his face being the fakest one his lips have ever formed. "Let's go sit down on a bench".

 

 

Once the kid has calmed down, the purple haired carefully leaves him there and rushes to the pharmacy that's near the park to buy a couple of things for the new not welcomed cuts.

When Kihyun arrives, the black haired is in the exact same spot he left him in, it's as if he hasn't moved an inch. 

The older doesn't say a thing as he sits down in the bench, takes one of the kid's arms and hopes he is doing a good job desinfecting and wrapping the wounds.

"Done", Kihyun says, giving a final pat to the younger's head, trying to be somewhat cheerful.

"Thank you", the kid's voice is a bit raspy and almost inaudible but Kihyun is thankful he is trying to be as positive as he can be given the situation.

"I bought another thing for you". The older smirks, but the boy can't see it. "Close your eyes".

"What for?". 

"Close them".

When the younger does so, Kihyun reaches for the plastic bag with the pharmacy logo in it and smirks once again as he grabs what he bought for the kid. He carefully places the object around the boy's head, perfectly covering his swelled eye, loving the reaction of the younger when he tells him to open his eyes, the moment he realizes he can't see through his right eye so evident and cute.

"What is it?", Changkyun asks, bringing a hand to his eye.

Kihyun is fast to grab the hand. "An eye patch".

"An eye patch?".

"Yeah". The older smiles, "I made sure to buy the one that looks the most like a pirate's".

The younger burst into a laughing fit. "Are you kidding me?". 

"No", the purple haired reassures. "If you don't like pirates we can always pretend you are cosplaying Misaki Mei from Another".

"I didn't watch that anime". The younger says between laughs. 

"I have never seen you laugh this much before". 

Changkyun stops laughing almost immediately, bringing a hand to cover his lips. "No", Kihyun grabs his hand again. "You can laugh, you look very good when you laugh, actually".

The kid stares at the tree that's in front of them for a few seconds and Kihyun doesn't know what's going on inside the kid's head, all he knows is that after some time, Changkyun stops looking at the tree to look at him, slowly reducing the distance between their lips until they are touching. 

Changkyun is not aware of how much does Kihyun want this to happen. He would want this to happen everyday, all the time. Just if it wasn't a wrong thing to do. Changkyun is 17, he knows very little about the difference between a right and a wrong decision. He is 32, he knows. 

That, of course, doesn't mean he is going to stop the kid from kissing him. 

As the younger wraps his arms around his neck, Kihyun imagines Changkyun licking it. As he places his hands in the black haired's waist, he imagines their naked bodies touching. Changkyun introduces his tongue inside Kihyun's mouth and he stops. 

"Changkyun", he says out of breath.

The younger simply rolls his eyes as an answer. 

"You know we can't do that". 

The black haired sighs. "I honestly don't get how is this any different from just kissing". 

"Changkyun", the older starts, "literally everything is different". 

"How?". 

Kihyun sighs. "Starting from how much you have to trust the other person and finishing with what you feel, everything is different". 

"Really?". Changkyun asks, slowly sitting in the older's lap. 

"Changkyun, what the hell are you doing?". 

"I want to do it", he smiles. "And I know you want it too", he says as he places one hand in Kihyun's hard member, smirking.

"Changkyun, no". 

"Please", gentle movements in the hand that's placed in Kihyun's crotch add to the pleading voice. 

"Changkyun", he stutters. "No". 

"C'mon", the younger sweetly rubs his body against the older's. "Please", he cries. 

Kihyun grabs Changkyun's hand, making he stop. "Changkyun", he says. "Get to your knees". 

And that is the exact same moment Kihyun lost it. 

 

 

The older doesn't dare to look as his Changkyunnie is sucking his cock. 

It would be easier to ignore if he didn't have to grab the younger's hair in order for him to reach where he as to. He tries to distract himself from the different thoughts that are swimming in his head by making sure no one sees them in such a state and changing the pace from fast to slow when the boy begins to choke.

When he feels like he is about to come, he orders the kid to touch him and he comes in his hand as he does so. 

"Here", Kihyun pats his own lap. 

Changkyun obediently sits there, the older takes the kid's dick in his hand and before he can think otherwise, gives him a hand job. Kihyun tries not to look too much at the boy with the eyepatch in his right eye, but can not contain himself from enjoying the heavenly moans scaping his lips. 

The kid comes out in no time and not missing out the opportunity, attacks the older's lips, this time it's the older who involves his tongue in the kissing. 

"Changkyun". Kihyun says shaking his head, when the making out session ends. "You deserve better than this". 

 

 

Kihyun misses the time when he and Changkyun met and used to give each other the occasional kiss. 

Now, they give each other blowjobs. 

Kihyun is not going to lie and say he doesn't enjoy it nor he is going to admit he loves it when he is inside the younger's mouth or when the moans scaping the kid's mouth are the answer to him sucking the black haired's hard member. 

The thing is that the fact the person that has his dick in his mouth is 17 can't stop repeating in his head, is so fucking annoying and distracting. 

He can enjoy Changkyun way more than he is currently doing, he can freely give the younger what he wants without feeling guilty. 

He can stop going to parties, he can stop drinking and smoking. 

He can stop imagining the person he has sex with in parties is Changkyun. 

The person in front of him while having sex, can be Changkyun. 

In one month, just one month. 

Kihyun can't believe the kid is turning 18 in just one month. 

They are lying on the couch of the taller's house, they just finished making out, although being honest, they also 'kissed' in places that are not the lips. There is a Christmas tree at their left and they are watching an episode of the first thing that popped out in the screen as they turned the TV on, the kid commented he thinks it might be a series. 

The man in the screen pushes his wife to their bed, they start kissing and it scalates, Kihyun covers the younger eyes with his hand as the kid burst into laughing. 

It's Kihyun's favourite sound, he has decided the kid's laugh has beaten the sound of his moans in many ways.

The man in the screen is riding the woman, the smartly planned angle of the camera not showing anything that doesn't need to be shown in a 13 and up series. 

Well. 

Kihyun has just decided what is the first thing he wants to do to Changkyun in one month from now.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The last part is specially cringy lmao I'm sorry.
> 
> I know you don't actually get to know what happens once Kyun turns 18 because honestly, not even I know lol  
> It is more of an extra chapter for you to see how a normal day in the life of Kihyun and Changkyun is after the met each other :)
> 
> I hope you liked it and thank you for having given my fanfic an opportunity ^^

**Author's Note:**

> I just hope someone enjoyed this


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